you're too pretty-- i can't work out here

i am on a quest. a quest to restart, to belong, to live my life as a well balanced new yorker. first, i needed a tiny over priced studio that i cram 28 years of my entire life into. check. second, a purpose. drugs/connecting tubes/"saving lives"/carrying airway bag and hoping someone else shows up who knows how to use it. check. third, cold milk product place-also found. used to be the icecream place criteria, but since nyc doesnt do icecream, only fancy shmancy gelato or yogurt or creme, i had to change. no ice cream, that would be so suburban. and we are nyc. we dont do that. pinkberry will do for now. next on the list: gym (clearly, icecream sampling comes first, i do things in a logical order). so the trek begins.
nearst gym first, because why would i expend energy on getting to a gym. please. it was pretty standard. and dont forget, i have low standards (on several levels), i have been going to world gym in white city plaza for 6 years. i was super excited they had a pool, something that world gym couldnt offer in all their glory. im not exactly sure what the definition of a "pool" is, but i dont really think this was it. i guess "wading pool" has the word "pool" in it. i would describe it more as a paved indoor puddle. still, i might have been sold. as long as i can still say i went "swimming" and that counts.
apparently just walking into a gym and taking a tour makes me ravenous-burning calories must be contagious. if i see other people exercising, i exercise by proximity. anyhoo, i rationalized ice cream after. oh, wait, forgive me, frozen yogurt. of course, i decide to spill the chocolate sample all over me. and by over me, i really mean my right boob caught the brunt of it. but that wont stop me. im on a mission. to the next gym.
next stop was the fancy gym. it wasnt so much a gym as an art gallery where models work out. it even smelled good. i wanted to touch everything. there was a wall of moss or grass or broccoli or some abstract art (reminder, this is a gym). and in my classiness, i wanted to reach out and grab it. could it really have been broccoli? i wanted to distract our tour guide so i can take my chance to touch. probably wouldnt have mattered if she caught me, its not like i really belonged there. might as well go out remembered as that girl. i was already THAT girl walking around the fancy gym with the chocolate stain on my boob.


THE BLOG IS BACK!!