zayde: so after you graduate from medical school, you go on to internship and residency, right?
me: yes, im doing my internship at st vincent in adult medicine.
zayde: and what do you do?
me: well, i start in the ICU
zayde: oh, like a nurse?
me: no, like a doctor
me: i can stay on these pill forever right?
SP: yes, very safe, although there might be a small risk of osteoporosis
me: thats fine, i might have a small addiction to target calcium chews
SP: [blank]
me: i've been advertising for you and student counseling. For some reason they asked me to speak to the 2nd years about the clinical years.
school psychiatrist (SP): [gives me a look of horror and shock]
me: i told them student counseling "the place to see and be seen".
SP: you know thats a bad thing, right, you know, for a psychiatrist's office
me: its true though. its where i run into everyone. i think it takes away the stigma.
SP: im using your quote to ask for a bigger waiting room. and a screen.
dad: what are you wearing? you dont look like a doctor.
me (in sundress): im not a doctor today.
dad: what are you then?
me: a psych patient
dad: what are you wearing on your feet?
me: chilean shower shoes, obviously.
charter communications telephone stalker (CCTS): i just wanted to offer you some great package deals. i see you only have internet. what do you do for your tv?
me: i dont have a tv.
CCTS: [spits up coffee on other end] you dont have a tv?
me: nope
CCTS: um, ok, um, [shock disbelief confusion] well, um, huh, what do you do for a phone.
me: i have a cell.
CCTS: you dont have a landline? [pause judgement i hate my job] what was the last time you had a landline?
me: give or take 9 years.
CCTS: i give up.
i love f'ing with them with the truth.
Bubbie (describing her home life with Zayde): if some one decided to video tape us, well, first of all, they'd be really bored.
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is that why dr rizzi got the screen?
ReplyDeleteoh also, let me contribute my conversation.
ReplyDelete(nurse calls to ask if patient should have 1:1 because 'her daughter says she is depressed').
me: whatever, i'm depressed. where's my 1:1?
attending: you're not depressed, you're always smiling.
me, not as jokingly as i intended: on the outside.
(longest awkward pause ever)
ill be your 1:1 any day. you know i was looking for a part time job doing just that. although, i was hoping for a comatose patient.
ReplyDeleteRight on! We are not just Doctors or Lawyers or...We wear many dresses (including friend, significant other, parent, child, sib...) and are a complexity of emotions. Only ever smiling is perhaps scary.
ReplyDelete