whatever 'swine flu', i got other diseases to worry about

i dont do the outdoors. i feel dirty, attackable, bitable, etc. which at first i thought was my prissy paranoia, but you know, i was right. and im never going near a cluster of trees again. mother nature created these vectors for disease called ticks and sent them to kill me, either by lyme or by panic.
i greeted my friend mary (after a month long absence from my life when she went to india) with a potentially lyme diseased hug and a request to rip this burrowing tick off my abdomen. sometimes i think, why cant i have more friends in useful jobs like 'icecream scooper' or people with good employee discounts like i had in high school. but when you have a friend that can sterilely pull off a tick in a panera bathroom and identify its lyme carrying potential, that friendship is priceless.
im reassured and less likely to call my doctor requesting doxy, titer, an EKG for my possible rapidly progressing lyme disease. what is more ironic is that the pieces of dead tick are in an empty pill bottle of my anxiety meds. i told you its not my prissy paranoia : )