gold star gall bladder

im highly tuned into my body. i think its the yoga. i can feel the internal pulse. its a combination of a self awareness, concentration and boredom. seriously, i can feel them: radial, DP i can feel them all. and now, i think i can feel my gall bladder secrete. that can be the only explanation really.
for a long while, i have been able to feel a little RUQ something or other after/during fatty meals. not so much a pain, but a 'hello, this is your gallbladder secreting' sensation. since i only have the pain scale to go off of, id say 1 out of 10. and then my doctor rolls his eyes when trying to convince him to make me an ultrasound appointment. of course, i won. see 'lead poisoning theory of 2008' for more details in how this is done.
i knew i would love the sonographer immediately. she gave me so many compliments.
sono: you are just the perfect patient. you are young and skinny.
me: youre making me blush, you think im skinny!
sono: well, um, i just did have a 400 lb patient, so in comparison...
me: oh
sono: your aorta is perfect too, look how skinny and straight it is!
me: (did not mention before but since i can feel my abdominal aortic pulse tho in reality im not actually skinny at all, ive always had a fear of aneurysm, but not anymore...plus it was really pretty looking) can you print a picture?
sono: no, you know, no one has ever asked me that in 25 years. you know this isnt like a baby picture, right?
me: oh.
sono: nice looking right kidney too. and no, i still cant print a picture.
me: fine.
sono: big deep breath in to move the liver down.
me: [breathe]
sono: you are also a good breath holder.
me: well, thank you for noticing. you know, i was a swimmer back in the day.
sono: i can tell
sono: well, gall bladder looks great too.
me: oh
sono: so in all, a normal ultrasound. except that you are very gassy. maybe that explains it. you are just full of gas.
me: better that than full of **it.

curtsy, the end.