columbus day in the woo

i just had a de ja vous moment. this felt so familiar. cops on my street, barricading me in, lights flashing. while this could be any sketch day in the woo, today is not one of those days. this is a day when everyone is celebrating columbus and i have to rush to a friends wedding. 2008 and 2009. i am destined to repeat myself in a groundhog/columbus day wedding disaster where police offers take pity on me. let's take a trip down memory lane, follow me.

columbus day 2008: morning began as an emergency run to target for stockings (i opted for fishnets, because im wedding appropriate). and by emergency i mean it only looked like a fled a burning house in a emergency without time to brush my hair, put on real clothes, wipe the crud off my face, or think about any social standards one has before leaving a house. stacey and clinton would not approve. anyhoo, returned to my street only to find it blocked off by police and floats (the word 'float' isnt appropriate here, nothing about these flat bed monstrosities screams 'float'. worcester aint no rose parade. so i might have started freaking out because im me and i need more time than i have to get to the wedding. i pull over to these cops, and i was like "how do i get to my house?", response: "you cant". me: "um, i have to get to a wedding and I can't go looking like THIS" [insert demonstrative motion of 'this mess goes from head to toe']. cop looks at me and was like "you're right. follow me in the cruiser". so he puts on his flashing lights and escorts me through the parade in the opposite direction, people part out of my way. yes, i got a police escort to my house. i feel like paris hilton. and i did make it to the wedding....kind of, i missed the walking in part'. oops. thanks worcester pd!

columbus day 2009: same day, different wedding. this mornings task was to get gas in my car so didnt have to go to seedy gas station in full out dress mode. attempt to leave house #1. blocked. when i asked when i could get through, i instead got solicited to ride on a float. tempting, can i wave? he said, you can wave, honk the horn, scream, flash lights, whatever i wanted. sketchy, but still tempting. it would make an awesome blog post. but no, focus, got to get to wedding. and i wouldnt be back in time if i rode in the worcester parade. i asked. i had to turn him down. attempt #2 to leave the house, this time, its serious. saw that i still couldnt get by since now they were only allowing right turns when i had to go left. right brings me nowhere close to left. police officer sees me turn around in defeat and was like 'hey, where are you going'. i said i needed to go left. he said you can only go right. i said i see that, thats why im turning around. hes like 'what, your car doesnt make right turns' and i said 'my car doesnt need to make THAT right turn. now that i write that, it does sound like i was sassier to the police officer than intended. oops. that was not where my post was going originally. now i feel bad.
this year, i made it to the wedding in time.

columbus day 2010: ??? sigh.